For employers

Supporting service users
Golden rules
Managing staffs who are victims or survivors of domestic abuse
Sample domestic violence and abuse policy

Supporting service users: guidelines for safety and good practice

When a survivor asks for help and support, she or he should receive a helpful and sympathetic response from all professionals. She may be afraid, indecisive and ashamed. She may expect you to blame, disbelieve and/or judge her. She may minimise the abuse she has suffered and may be terrified that talking to you will result in Social Services trying to take her children away. Be conscious of your body language and attitude.

Women

If a female worker is available, ask her if she would prefer to talk to a woman.

Men

Genuine male survivors have the same rights as women survivors. Be aware, however, that services for male survivors find that a substantial number of their callers –as many as 40% - are perpetrators disguised as survivors, so you need to ask questions carefully.

Privacy

Offer her the opportunity to talk in privacy.

Friends and family

If she has come to your office with someone else, try and ensure that you speak to her alone. The person with her –male or female – could be her abuser.

Children

If she has children with her, offer to make a later appointment if she can arrange childcare. However, if necessary be prepared to talk to her (with care) with the children there – and make sure there are toys or games available for them so you can do this comfortably. If you offer her a later appointment, make sure she understands that you are not trying to ‘put her off’.

Respect

Respect her judgement and decisions – she knows the facts better than you. Be honest with her – don’t promise what you can’t deliver.

Confidentiality

Explain clearly what your confidentiality policy is, especially with regard to child protection. Make sure she understands that you are not trying to put her off, but are being open and honest with her from the start.

Enquiries from others

Never give out information about someone else to a caller, whatever the reason they give you. It could be an abuser – or someone asking on behalf of an abuser - who is trying to get information about the whereabouts of someone who has fled.

English as a second language

If your caller’s English is hesitant, ask them whether they would like an interpreter. Your agency should have a link with a telephone language interpreting service for a first appointment; you can use this to get basic information and arrange a professional interpreter for a later appointment. Never use children to interpret.

Sensory, physical and learning impairments

Ensure that your office is accessible; if not, try to arrange another accessible meeting point where your caller feels safe to come. If they are visually impaired, make sure you have accessible materials. Remember that a disabled person’s assistant or carer may also be their abuser. If they are hearing impaired, arrange for a signer. If they have a learning impairment and need an advocate, do not talk through their partner.

Reading and writing skills

Do not presume your caller can read a leaflet, but they may be embarrassed to say they can’t. Offer to go through the leaflet with them.

Golden rules

Never assume

Survivors know more about their abuse than you do.

Never underestimate abusers

There is no limit to what some will do, including lying and manipulating you.

Ask yourself: “will my intervention increase or decrease the safety of this person?"

Thanks to Partnership Against Domestic Violence and Abuse, Bath and North East Somerset for the above information.

Managing staff who are victims or survivors of domestic abuse

A lot of the advice above applies to supporting staff who are victims or survivors of domestic abuse. However, there are some additional issues to be aware of in managing staff.

Worries

A victim may be very wary about disclosing abuse to someone she works with, because she is worried about how it might affect her life at work if people know, or if they do not believe her. If her abuser works at the same place, she may also be worried that he will find out what she has said.

Supportive environment

There are things you can do to let people know it’s okay to disclose abuse, and that you will support them if they do. You could print out and put up some of the posters on the resources page. You could also use the <sample policy> below to create a policy for your workplace, and publicise this to staff. If you have an intranet, think about having a support page that lists agencies working with victims of domestic abuse, or links to our For Survivors page. You could also send some of your staff on one of our training courses.

Ask the question

If you suspect someone you work with may be being abused at home, it’s okay to ask them directly. You could use a question like: is everything okay at home? Is someone at home hurting you? Are you worried about what your partner might do to you? She might not tell you straight away what is happening, but she will know that you are willing to listen when she is ready to talk, and will be non-judgemental.

Enquiries from others

It’s natural, when taking a phone call from someone else, to say things like ‘she’s not in yet, she doesn’t get in till 9.30,’ or ‘she’s at a meeting in X place.’ Try not to do this when taking messages for someone who has disclosed abuse – it could be her abuser, or someone calling on their behalf. Instead, take a name and number so she can return the call. You could say something like, ‘She can’t take your call at the moment,’ or ‘I’ll ask her to call you later.’ Try to avoid giving information about where she is and when she’ll be back; never say that she is on leave.

Time off

If a colleague is currently being abused, or is trying to leave, she may need you to be flexible about time off, and how much notice she can give for this. This may also be a sign that she is experiencing abuse. On the other hand, there may not be clear signs – many women are very good at covering up what is happening to them, which is why an environment where domestic abuse is condemned, and victims are made to feel that they can disclose safely, is so important.

Remember: it is not your responsibility to stop the abuse or help the victim escape, or even provide on-going specialist support.

There are several agencies in Bristol whose job it is to do this – the best thing you can do is support the victim within the workplace, and help her to access this support.

Sample domestic violence and abuse policy for employers.

One way to show your commitment to supporting victims and ending abuse is to have a domestic violence policy, which covers things like holiday and sick time, confidentiality etc. Publicising this policy and making it easy for everyone to access will help make victims feel able to come forward.

If you’re not sure how to start writing your own, you can download this sample policy to adapt and get started.

Sample domestic violence and abuse policy for employers